


I Burn For You

by novilunar



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Barebacking, Knotting, M/M, Rimming, Self-Lubrication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-11
Updated: 2015-02-11
Packaged: 2018-03-11 22:29:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3335114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novilunar/pseuds/novilunar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Truth is, Chanyeol doesn't even know that Jongin is an omega. Despite the months of living together and spending most of their time with each other Jongin still hasn’t been able to breach the subject of his true nature to Chanyeol.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Burn For You

It has been four months since Chanyeol moved in with Jongin and they have been some of the best months of Jongin's life. Living with an alpha isn't that different to living with anyone else as long as Jongin keeps taking his pills, and even in that short time Chanyeol has managed to become a friend rather than just a roommate. They get along fine at the worst of times and amazingly at the best, having found many common interests in music and movies despite some of their friend’s insistence that they both have crap taste.

Going by appearance only, there is no discernible difference between betas and omegas, and this simple fact has been Jongin's savior for years. After countless angst-filled nights in high school, wishing that he had been born a beta like his best friend, Sehun, his parents had finally allowed him to book a meeting with a doctor and get a prescription for suppressants. There was no more missing school because of badly timed, painful heats, no more having to avoid alpha-dense areas late at night in case one of them caught his scent. With the suppressants he's easily mistaken for a beta as the pills quell not only his heats but hide his natural omega scent. It’s been years since Jongin had his last heat and he hasn't looked back.

Starting university had been a welcome change from high school, where people had known the truth about him. In university no one knew him from before, apart from Sehun, and Jongin could pass as a beta in front of all his new friends. With no one knowing he was an omega he was finally free from the whispers of slut and whore in the corridors, the rumors that he'd spread his legs for anyone who asked since he was so desperate for it. 

He'd even managed to befriend a few alphas and found that some of them weren't so bad, one of them Chanyeol who had become his new roommate when Sehun had decided to move in with his boyfriend and left Jongin to either move or find a new roommate to make ends meet. It had gone better than Jongin thought, and he was happy to now be coming home to a wide grin and Chanyeol's great home-cooked meals rather than dirty laundry strewn across the apartment and Sehun lounging on the couch, playing with his phone and asking Jongin why he hadn't bought him any food when he was out. Sehun might be his best friend but he didn't make a particularly good roommate.

“Hey,” Sehun says, low enough that the lecturer won't hear him. “Me and Tao are gonna get bubble tea after class, you wanna come along?”

“Sorry,” Jongin shrugs. “I'm going home, me and Chanyeol are gonna watch—”

Sehun interrupts him with a sigh. “You're always hanging out with Chanyeol, come on. I barely see you anymore.”

“You're the one who moved out,” Jongin says. “And I seem to remember a certain someone being completely unreachable for the first weeks—”

“That's just because we were busy fucking in every room of the house,” Sehun says shamelessly, laughing at Jongin's disgusted expression. “And what about you? Getting anywhere with that alpha of yours?”

Jongin flusters. “He's not my alpha. And there's nowhere to go with him anyway.” 

Truth is, Chanyeol doesn't even know that Jongin is an omega. Despite the months of living together and spending most of their time with each other Jongin still hasn’t been able to breach the subject of his true nature to Chanyeol. It isn't that he particularly wants to lie to Chanyeol, but Jongin has never been good at dealing with things head on and the longer they have lived together the harder it's become to suddenly break something like that to Chanyeol.

“Really?” Sehun says. “So you've never thought about it? I mean he's good looking, if you're into his type I guess. Got nice arms, I bet he could hold you up against the wall while he—”

“Shut up,” Jongin hisses. Sometimes he hates that Sehun knows him so well. 

It isn't anything Jongin ever thinks about intentionally, but of course he hasn't missed the fact that Chanyeol with his almond shaped eyes, bright smile and tall stature makes a rather attractive alpha. And as much as he can pretend to be a beta, as much as he can suppress his heats and scent he can't suppress his thoughts, the ones that wander sometimes when Chanyeol steps out of the shower with nothing on but a towel slung around his waist. 

Chanyeol isn't an option though. He is Jongin's roommate and friend and Jongin can't let some hormonal curiosity ruin that.

“I haven't. And besides, he doesn't even see me like that,” Jongin says, making a face at Sehun's smug grin.

“I can't believe you still haven't told him though. Don't you think he should know he's shacking with an omega?”

Jongin sighs, doodling around his notes. “It's not that easy. I just don't want him to see me as—” he shakes his head, drawing thick lines over the stick figures. “Nevermind.”

“See you as what, a slut?” Sehun says, and Jongin cringes at his blunt language, staring down at his notebook. “You know he's not like those alphas, Jongin.”

Jongin does. But there's still a small nagging worry in the back of his head that maybe Chanyeol will reject him, maybe the friendliness is all because he thinks Jongin is a beta and not an omega, on the lowest rung of the social ladder. He knows Sehun has always been by his side, his best friend even before he started taking the suppressants, but he also knows that Sehun was never the one who had to put headphones in just to block the whispers about how easy he was and how many alpha cocks he'd taken, despite the fact that he was still actually a virgin. There are some things that Sehun just wouldn't get, being a beta.

Chanyeol being one of the kindest alphas Jongin's met, as well as a friend, just makes it harder. Jongin just doesn't know what he'd do if Chanyeol saw him with the same disdain as those other people had done just because of what Jongin was born into.

 

-

 

Sehun's words stay in his mind, but there just never seems to be a good time to talk to Chanyeol about it. The first time Chanyeol had been studying for a test and Jongin just didn't want to bother him, the second time he'd managed to gather up the courage Chanyeol had looked up at him with those big puppy eyes of his and asked if something was wrong and Jongin had simply relented and asked him to pass the salt instead.

He tries phrasing it a hundred different ways in his mind but none of it sounds right and when he tries saying it to the mirror it all gets stuck halfway through his throat, not a syllable making it out through his mouth.

A week later it's still bothering him as he cuts up vegetables for their dinner. Chanyeol just came back from playing basketball with his friends and Jongin doesn't know whether it's because of the workout or the fact that he has been hanging around alphas, but Chanyeol's strong scent is permeating throughout the whole apartment, making Jongin's hands shake slightly with the intensity of it.

A hand on Jongin's arm makes him jolt and he only barely manages to avoid cutting his hand open on the sharp knife. 

“Weren't you listening?” Chanyeol's voice is close, the deep tone of it making Jongin's breath hitch. He hadn't even noticed him come into the room.

He puts the knife down, drags a hand through his hair. “Sorry, I was a bit distracted.” Chanyeol's scent is even more overbearing with the alpha right next to him and Jongin's head spins, making him reach out and grasp the counter to steady himself.

“Hey, are you okay?” Chanyeol asks, grabbing Jongin by the arm and turning him around. He looks down at Jongin with furrowed brows and that’s when it hits Jongin. The rush of heat down his spine that he hasn’t had to experience in years. He knows he hasn’t forgotten to take his pills, but there’s no mistaking what the sudden warmth in his body is.

Chanyeol’s eyes widens as his grasp on Jongin’s arms loosens. “Oh,” he lets out, and Jongin knows that Chanyeol can see it on him, probably already smell it as well. “You’re—?”

Jongin nods and his face flushes with shame, a small whimper leaving his throat as he bares his neck to Chanyeol who looks surprised rather than upset, yet to let Jongin’s arm go. It's the first time he's recognized Chanyeol as an alpha like this, submissive and willing, with the warmth of Chanyeol's fingers making Jongin’s skin burn. He knows that they can’t stay here together right now, or they’ll probably do something both of them will regret.

“I'm sorry,” Jongin says, dragging his arm out of Chanyeol’s grip. “You should leave.” His voice is shaky and he can’t look Chanyeol in the eyes. There's a wetness spreading between his legs, unfamiliar and uncomfortable, his heat hitting him hard already and Chanyeol’s alpha scent is only making him want to drag him close and— “Please, Chanyeol.”

“I’ll be at Baek’s. Text me if— text me.” Chanyeol takes two staggering steps backwards and Jongin nods silently, digging his nails into his palm to stop from reaching out and he doesn’t even notice that Chanyeol’s voice sounds just as wrecked as Jongin feels. 

When the front door finally slams closed Jongin lets himself move into his bedroom and fall down on his bed, yank down his pants and wrap a hand around his hard cock, bringing himself off quickly and roughly. He knows it's just the first time of many in the days following. It's as if his body is trying to make up for the years of lost heats, the arousal returning quickly, more intense and painful than during any heat Jongin's ever gone through.

Jongin doesn't know how long it's been, but it's already dark outside when he's finally managed to take enough of the edge off that he can feel how hungry he is. The vegetables on the cutting board are spoiled and Jongin throws them in the trash, microwaving some leftovers from the fridge instead. There's no point in trying to cook something since his arousal is already starting to stir low in his stomach again and he'd rather not forget the stove on and accidentally burn down the apartment. He feels like he's destroyed enough things already.

His whole body is aching when he gets back into bed, hypersensitive as the cotton sheets brushes against his skin. He knows it will only get worse until the heat breaks, at least four days from now since he doesn't have an alpha to fuck him through it. The intensity of his heat is unfamiliar and frightening, but he has no choice but get through it on his own.

Picking up his phone while he still has some clarity of mind and body he intends to tell Sehun that he won't be in class for a while, but he doesn't get that far. There are three texts from Chanyeol. 

The first one tells him what Chanyeol had already said before leaving, to text him as soon as it was fine for him to return to the apartment. The second one asks if Jongin is going to be alright. The third is the one that Jongin lingers on.

'Tell me what I can do to help'

So many things he'd want Chanyeol to do to him, Jongin thinks, and none of them being anything he could ask Chanyeol for, but that doesn't stop him from imagining them as he wraps his hand around his cock for the fifth time since Chanyeol left, breathing out the alpha's name as he presses two fingers into his slick hole.

 

-

 

They don’t speak much afterward. Chanyeol returns after a text message from Jongin telling him that it’s fine, but Jongin doesn't see him a whole lot as Jongin's trying to spend as much time as possible outside the apartment and avoids Chanyeol whenever he's at home.

“You know you're not gonna solve anything by hiding out here.” Sehun glares at Jongin across the table where Jongin is mooching his fourth meal in three days. “Just go back and talk to him.”

“Easy for you to say,” Jongin mutters around a mouth full of rice. Not only is he afraid of what Chanyeol might say when he gets back but he's also incredibly embarrassed. As if revealing that he is an omega wasn't enough it had to happen in a way that made him look like the horny, needy fucktoy he so desperately wanted Chanyeol to not see him as. “I even bared my neck towards him.” Jongin buries his face in his hands.

Tao shrugs. “So?” 

“So?! I might as well have just rolled over and spread my legs,” Jongin says as he stabs his chopsticks down into his food.

Sehun snorts, “Maybe you should have.”

Choking on his rice, Jongin glares at Sehun only to direct it at his boyfriend a second later when Tao giggles behind his hand.

“Really though, Jongin,” Sehun says, face serious. “He's a good alpha. You've been happy living with him and his face lights up like a freaking Christmas tree every time he looks at you. Why can't you just take this opportunity for what it is? Why do you have to overcomplicate things?”

He's not overcomplicating things, Jongin thinks sourly. Things are just complicated, and he doesn't expect a beta to fully understand even if he happens to be Jongin's best friend. Sehun seems to think that this is some sort of golden opportunity for him to start fucking his roommate, as if he hadn't been lying to Chanyeol for months. As if it was even something Chanyeol wanted. As if Jongin didn't want so, so much more.

 

-

 

Jongin puts the heat down to a mistake with his suppressants. Maybe he did forget to take one, maybe there was something wrong with the pill that made it malfunction. It shouldn't matter anymore, and he tries as hard as he can to put the painful and embarrassing memory of his heat behind him. 

There's still one thing he can't put behind him though.

“Hey,” he says softly, and Chanyeol instantly looks up from his guitar. He sets it aside, moves to make room for Jongin on the couch. Jongin sits down tentatively, with some space between them. It feels strange, he's used to the two of them sitting closer, sharing a bowl of popcorn during one of their regular weekend movie marathons. It's been a pretty long time since he watched a movie with Chanyeol.

“Hey yourself,” Chanyeol says, and the smile on his face is not the usual wide grin that stretches from ear to ear, it's a softer, smaller smile. “You haven't been around a lot.”

“No, I— I didn't know if you wanted to—” Jongin's voice seems unusually small and he has trouble getting the words out, syllables trailing off before he can voice his thoughts and worries. “Move out,” he finishes lamely.

Chanyeol is quiet for a while, uncharacteristically so, and it makes Jongin fidget. “Do you want me to?” he finally asks.

For this, Jongin doesn't have to hesitate. “No.”

“Good. Because I don't want to either.” Jongin looks up at Chanyeol's words, and the older laughs. “Is this why you didn't want to be around? You were afraid I'd leave?”

Any answers Jongin can come up with feel dumb spoken out loud so he settles for nodding instead, and before he knows it he's engulfed in a bear hug.

“So stupid.” Chanyeol's voice vibrates in his chest where Jongin is pressed close. Chanyeol is warm and strong and comforting and Jongin feels himself relaxing for the first time since his heat, tenseness bleeding out of his body. “I don't care that you're an omega. You're still the awesome Jongin that plays Street Fighter with me and pushes gross bare feet into my lap when we're watching movies and makes me soup when I'm sick even if it's not half as good as the one I make you when you're—”

“Hey!” Jongin says, punching Chanyeol in the arm. There's a smile on his face though, matching the grin on Chanyeol's. Relief has flooded his chest and when Chanyeol eventually loosens his arms around him he doesn't really want to move away from his embrace.

“Does this mean that we can finally watch Sand Sharks?” Chanyeol asks. “Because I've seriously waited for two weeks now. You said you'd watch it with me.”

There's a little ball of warmth in Jongin's chest, and it won't seem to leave. “Sure. Let's watch it.”

 

-

 

To Jongin's relief, Chanyeol doesn't bring up the fact that Jongin's an omega again. He doesn't pry as to why Jongin disguises himself as a beta and for all intents and purposes their life is exactly the same as it was before his misplaced heat, and Jongin feels like he should be happy about that, since it was what he had wanted. The only problem is that he can't seem to help the thoughts that come to him when he's right on the verge of falling asleep, when his brain filter is dissolved and he's halfway to dreamland. It's at those times that he remembers what it was that got him through his heat.

Jongin has always known that Chanyeol is an alpha but he seems to be more aware of it now than ever before. He manages to keep it out of his head most of the day, but late at night it's like once he crossed that barrier during his heat he can't stop imagining about what it would feel like to have Chanyeol's hands on his skin, his knot swelling inside of him, and more often than he'd like he ends up pushing a hand down his underwear, face tinged red with arousal and shame as he muffles his moans into the pillow.

 

-

 

Unlike most omegas, Jongin doesn't keep track of his heat cycle. There's really no point in it if you've been on suppressants for years, but Jongin knows that it's definitely not the usual six weeks since he had that last, strange heat. It can't be more than three weeks, yet he's already feeling the feverish start of it again.

Standing up from his desk abruptly, he goes to check through his bag. He counts to twelve pills in the nondescript bottle he's stashed there — he definitely didn't forget to take them.

The heat and arousal is spreading, as quick as last time, and Jongin feels uncomfortable in his own skin, wants to open the window to cool himself but he knows that his scent will just attract every alpha in the neighborhood.

Speaking of.

Jongin can smell Chanyeol before he can hear him, and that probably says a lot about how strong Jongin's own scent must be right now, usually almost non-existent thanks to the pills but in heat an omega’s scent is several times as strong as that of an alpha.

When he turns Chanyeol is in the doorway, a hand against the wall as if to steady himself. Jongin steps towards him, nails digging into his palm.

“I— I'll leave,” Chanyeol says, and the words make Jongin feel like he's free falling. He remembers his last heat, the exhaustion, the frightening intensity of it.

“Don't,” he manages to get out. “Chanyeol, please stay.”

“Jongin, if I stay I— I won't be able to hold back.” Chanyeol's breath is ragged, and Jongin is close enough to see how blown his pupils are.

Jongin shakes his head. “I don't want you to hold back. I want you.” Pulling Chanyeol close, Jongin takes Chanyeol's hand and pushes it towards his hard cock. “I need you.”

Chanyeol cups the bulge in Jongin's jeans, and Jongin lets out a small whimper as the hand pushes against his erection. “Last time,” Jongin says breathlessly, “I couldn't stop thinking about you. Your knot, how good it would feel inside of me.”

Chanyeol groans and Jongin feels a pulse of slickness wet his underwear at the low sound.

“It gets worse after the suppressants, I don't want to go through it alone again.” Jongin lets his head rest on Chanyeol's shoulder, cheeks burning with embarrassment as he feels the alpha's racing pulse against his lips. “Please say something.”

The hand on his crotch moves away and Jongin’s breath catches in his throat before Chanyeol pulls their hips together and he can feel just how hard the other man is.

“Jongin, are you sure about this?” There's a slight tremor in Chanyeol's hand as he holds Jongin close, and Jongin isn't really surprised. Most alphas wouldn't even be able to stay this close to an omega in heat without tearing their clothes off.

“I've thought about this for so long,” Jongin confesses, and he's too far gone to even be ashamed of he words coming out of his mouth anymore. “I need you, I need to feel your knot inside of me. Please, Chanyeol—”

He doesn't get further before Chanyeol fists a hand in his hair, pulling his head close for a kiss that makes Jongin's head spin. He's glad Chanyeol has such a steady grip on his hip because Jongin is pretty sure that he'd fall over without it.

Chanyeol tastes like alpha, the scent of him in arousal heady to Jongin's heat-ridden mind. It's only when his back hits something soft that Jongin realizes that Chanyeol has moved them to Jongin's bed, Jongin spread out against the sheets as Chanyeol settles over him.

Now that there's an alpha on top of him, Jongin's heat is hitting him in full power. Chanyeol manages to get both their shirts off, only momentarily distracted by sucking dark marks down Jongin's chest, before he finally reaches Jongin's zipper. Jongin almost wants to cry with relief as Chanyeol pulls his pants and underwear off his straining erection, letting it rest leaking pre-cum on his belly as Chanyeol spreads his legs with a hand on each thigh.

Jongin can feel his wetness dripping out, feels heat rise to his face as Chanyeol takes in the sight. He feels bare like this, legs spread and both neck and stomach on display but there's something freeing about submitting himself to Chanyeol, trusting the alpha to help him through his heat instead of having to take care of himself. There's a look in Chanyeol's eyes that Jongin has never seen before as he drags his fingers upwards Jongin's thighs, towards his hole, a raw, unbridled look that makes Jongin's legs fall apart on their own volition and makes his breath hitch in anticipation.

What Jongin isn't expecting is for Chanyeol to duck down, let his tongue follow the trail his fingers made until he reaches Jongin's leaking hole and licks a wet stripe up the puckered skin. Jongin whimpers at the sensation, hides his face with his hands as Chanyeol pushes his tongue inside.

He's never felt anything like it, can't help the way his hips jerk up against Chanyeol's hand as he holds Jongin still. The noises coming from between his legs are downright filthy and Jongin fists his hands in the sheets to find something to hold onto as Chanyeol's tongue traces around his rim. When Chanyeol brings up a finger to press inside along his tongue, pushing up towards Jongin's prostate, Jongin comes with a scream.

His heat is far from broken, but at least Chanyeol has taken the edge off. Panting, Jongin claws at Chanyeol's shoulders to pull him up from between his legs only to groan at the sight when he does so.

Chanyeol's hair is mussed, and there's a large bulge in the front of his pants as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Fuck, Jongin,” he says, grinning. “You taste amazing, I could do that all day.”

Jongin whimpers at Chanyeol's husky tone and his arousal is already starting to return, his still hard cock twitching against his cum-stained abdomen as he reaches out for Chanyeol's zipper.

“Chanyeol, please.” His voice already sounds wrecked and Jongin doesn't even want to think about what it will sound like after his heat is over.

Bending down to press another kiss to Jongin's mouth, Chanyeol undoes his fly and gets the remaining of his clothes off with a complete lack of the usual clumsiness he's prone to display. He presses a kiss to Jongin's jaw before pulling away slightly.

“Do you have any condoms?”

Jongin bites his lip, missing the way Chanyeol's fingers tighten on his hips as he does so. “Is it okay...to go without?” Jongin hesitates slightly, but he's already gone so far, there's no point in holding back any more. “I want to feel your cum inside of me.”

“Fucking hell, Jongin,” Chanyeol swears, resting his head against Jongin's clavicle as he breathes deeply. 

Jongin can feel the heavy weight of his cock against his hips now that there are no layers of clothes to separate them, and more wetness slides out of him to slick the way when he imagines feeling it inside of him. “Please,” he begs, nails scratching lightly up Chanyeol's back.

Chanyeol sits back, kneeling between Jongin's thighs and pulling him closer by the back of his knees until he can feel the length of Chanyeol's cock between his legs, sliding against his balls. Whimpering, he tries to cover his face with his hands again only to have them dragged away by Chanyeol.

“Don't. I want to see your face.”

The disciplining tone in the alphas voice has a shiver running down Jongin's spine. This is really it — he's really about to mate with an alpha.

Chanyeol presses two fingers into him, meeting almost no resistance. Adding a third one is tighter, and Jongin's hips push down for more. Slicking his cock with the lubricant from Jongin's leaking hole, Chanyeol lifts Jongin's hips up with a hand under the small of his back, aligning his cock with the other.

When Chanyeol finally pushes in, he does it so slowly that Jongin thinks he's going to die. The thickness of Chanyeol's cock is better than anything he's ever felt, and he's barely even aware of the moans and whimpers slipping out of his mouth. The stretch feels amazing as Chanyeol slips further in, gripping Jongin's hips with his hands and pulling him down on his cock until their hips press together.

He stays still for a few seconds, lets Jongin get used to the feeling of having his cock inside of him. Arching his back, Jongin whines to make Chanyeol move. Chanyeol's eyes are fixed on Jongin's as he pulls out slightly only to slam back in, and Jongin closes his eyes in bliss as Chanyeol does it again. Leaning down over Jongin, Chanyeol puts his weight on his elbow planted next to Jongin's face, lifting Jongin's leg up around his waist with his other arm and starting to thrust into him earnestly.

Jongin rocks with every thrust of Chanyeol's cock inside of him, and when he clenches down he can already feel the knot start to form. It's far from enough, he begs for Chanyeol to fuck him harder and the alpha obliges, pushing into him roughly as Jongin breathes out his moans into Chanyeol's neck. 

Like this, Chanyeol covers him almost entirely and Jongin digs his nails into his back, a desperate attempt to cling to something as he feels the knot growing bigger and bigger inside him, pulling against his rim on every thrust and once inside pressing against the spot that makes him see stars.

“Fuck, Jongin,” Chanyeol breathes out into Jongin's ear, the hoarse sound making Jongin clench around his cock, the knot slipping in one last time as Chanyeol pushes their hips together and holds them still. The knot is almost painfully big inside of Jongin but it's situated right against his prostate and it rubs against it with every twitch of Chanyeol's hips as Jongin feels the warm spurts of his cum inside of him, the sensations making his own painfully hard cock leak against his belly.

Chanyeol wraps his hand around his length and Jongin almost blacks out, moaning and clenching down on his knot as he feels his waves of pleasure wash over him, turning his mind blank.

When Jongin opens his eyes, he's lying on top of Chanyeol, the alpha's knot still softening inside of him and Jongin's cum sticky between their bellies.

“Hey, welcome back.” Chanyeol's voice is soft and comforting, and Jongin wants to drown in it a little. He doesn't manage more of an answer than a muffled noise against Chanyeol's chest. His heat is gone for now, but he's drowsy and lethargic after the most intense orgasm he's ever experienced and Chanyeol is warm with his arms wrapped around Jongin.

Chanyeol lowers his arms to grasp Jongin's hips and pulls him up until his cock slides out of Jongin, the younger whimpering as he feels Chanyeol's cum sliding out of him. After rolling him over and settling Jongin on his back on the bed, Chanyeol gets up. He leaves the room and Jongin shivers slightly, cold now that the fever of his heat has left him momentarily. It will most likely be back, a heat is usually not broken by a single knotting, but rather than thinking about that, on his mind is Chanyeol. 

His thoughts don't have time to get too far before the alpha is back, a damp wash cloth in his hand as he sits down on the bed next to Jongin, cleaning the cum off his stomach and between his legs. Jongin doesn't even have it in him to be embarrassed anymore about lying naked on display for Chanyeol, can only lie back and watch as Chanyeol drags the washcloth over his skin. As soon as he's done, Chanyeol dumps the washcloth on the floor and gets into bed with Jongin, pulling him close and dragging the covers over them.

Lying with his head on Chanyeol's chest, Jongin can feel the thump of his heart beats, a steady rhythm. His eyes flutter closed as Chanyeol drags a hand through his scalp and Jongin tries to push every question and doubt he has about the future from his mind, pretends that time has stopped around them.

“You know, I never thought I'd actually get to have you like this.”

Jongin's eyes fly open. “What?” he asks, leaning up so that he can see Chanyeol's face.

“Well, I— I mean I've liked you for a pretty long time. And even if this is just a one-time thing or something...I'm really happy right now. Like this.” Jongin knows what Chanyeol's eyes look like when he's lying, and this isn't it. This is real.

“How long?”

Chanyeol sighs, looking out into the room as if trying to recall. “I can't really remember, I guess I've always liked you. It didn't really hit me until about a month after I moved in though. I think we were watching something on the TV, I can't even remember what. You were falling asleep on the sofa and I just— I wanted to take care of you. Wanted you to stay here forever and watch stupid movies with me and fight about what takeaway to get for dinner and bring you coffee when you're cramming for another test because you just can't seem to stop procrastinating.” 

His fingers drift to Jongin's nape, stroking softly, and Jongin lets his head fall back down, nestles it into the crook of Chanyeol's neck. There are a thousand things on Jongin's mind and he still doesn't know how to word any of them. Every time he starts forming what he wants to say it's all dissolved by large fingers caressing his neck, wandering over the bare skin of his shoulder.

He wants to belong here. Right here, in these arms. 

“It's not.” he says softly. “It's not a one-time thing.”

Chanyeol's hand stills.

“Does that mean you'll let me be your boyfriend?”

Of course, he thinks. There's no one else, he wants to say. But the words get stuck in his throat and he settles for just nodding lamely. It seems to be enough though, as he's soon enveloped by Chanyeol's long arms, pulling him impossibly close until it's almost too tight to breathe.

“Chanyeol,” he gasps out, and the alpha releases his grip slightly with a sheepish look.

“Sorry,” he says, but a grin is spreading on his face as he pulls Jongin in and kisses him. It's slow and deliberate and it makes Jongin turn boneless in his embrace. “I'm just so, so happy.”


End file.
